Reflect

www.livesayhaiti.blogspot.com encourages me.

"What is more important: the dream, or God?" Sometimes God shakes up the dream to make you realize what is important.

Maybe I need to listen & reflect a little.

Writing

helps. I am thankful for a blog that I can't loose. I can't imagine what it would be like if I tried to keep up with a sketchbook these days!

What is "Normal?" and 10 minutes of complaining...

My mind is full of negativity...so, I'm going to spend 10 minutes getting it the heck out of my body. God, take these negative thoughts and SQUASH them like a mean bug. Please.

Okay, I REALLY miss the old "normal." I loooooooong for coming home to MY clean house, MY colorful walls, or MY mess, knowing what I'm coming home to. I loooooooong to hear "I'll grill out burgers tonight" and it be at my house. (I got a little excited today when Ben said that Greg was bringing over stuff to Grill at D&T's house.....close). I really am having a hard time being patient in this uncomfortable house. This has been resolved....but, I"m complaining for 10 mintues, okay 8 more....and need to get it out of my head. I came "home" yesterday and the house smelled like a $#@^$# bar. I have NEVER been that mad, I really don't think I have. Brother in law paid some people to come and help downstairs and they smoked outside of the door and the house smelled horrible. He appologized, I don't feel like barfing about it anymore...my heart rate has calmed down. But, it just seems like everyday....it is "what now??!" Sunday, I "out-sourced" my laundry...and I was so excited about sleeping in my own bed with CLEAN sheets. (I have real issues with bad smells...and my house smells really bad) Came home...and the bedroom was trashed. Ben started to put in the washer & dryer upstairs...and in the process had to take everything out of the closet. Oh my...back to Charlotte's bed.

WILL I HAVE ANY PATIENCE left in my spirit, any creativity, anything left in me when my house is together again?????????? And, will that ever ever happen??

Okay....so, take all of that with a grain of salt. I AM THANKFUL, GRATEFUL, and KNOW that God has me RIGHT here for a reason. And, for that matter....he has a lot of people in similiar situations. But, PRAY that I keep GRAN spirit. I just don't want life as it is now to be my "new normal." It CAN"T stay this way forever. I hope. My other question in my mind is....what do I try and "control" or "manage" and what do I let go....?

Okay...now 2 hours of productivity. 20 minutes of facebook. 1 hour of productivity. 20 minutes making THANK YOU cards for Charlotte's Birthday that was a month ago..............................peace....................peace....................peace OUT.

Coffee Shop Hopping...

Okay, so Starbucks on Lewisville-Clemmons Road has the company of a cheerleader and her coach in a very heated conversation about cheerleading. WOW. Get over yourself. Get along well with others. That is my advise of the night. Don't be annoying....note to self. What does this have to do with drastical vagabonds? nothing. procrastinating in the 9th hour of the 11th day...............................................is this really going to get done at this pase?

Good Feeling...

Okay, so we don't have blinds. BUT, this morning I woke up to see a beautiful sliver of the moon floating in a beautiful "Liz Blue" sky in front of an awesome silouette of a bare tree out of MY window in MY room. It was a great way to wake up. When I walked out of my house, I heard birds chirping. I'm going to like my new home.

And, have I mentioned how I LOVE LOVE the conversations I have with my 'Lotte about the moon? She is so scared of the moon, but loves to look for it, sing to it, and talk about it. "Moon, where are you?" "Party with snow? stars? sun?" "mooooooon, where are YOU?"

She is JOY. JOY. JOY!

Oh, and Ben is gardening.....that is very humerous to me. And, very exciting too :)

Reflections over National Boards

Working, meditating, reflecting....listening to Pandora while working makes your soul lighter...

"Mighty is the power of Christ"

detour: focusing with friends is difficult........ahhhhhhh........we always have too much to talk about. Life and death. Friends and family. Time and the lack of it. Sunshine.

Okay, so now it is 10:00am. I have 2 hours to get this entry DONE.

"Oh, my soul overflow. Oh, my soul fills with hope. Perfect love that never lets go." (Never let go, David Crowder Band) I want my soul to overflow. Daily. In the good and the bad. The up and the down. And, this is my prayer for CZ. I want her to overflow with Gods love.....to find true contentment, hope and peace. Everlasting.

"Joy and pain in sun and rain. You are the same, oh you never let go" Amazing how lyrics can speak to you. That verse to the song, came right after I wrote that above.

I love the life of an artist. I love constant discovery and rediscovery. I love that about art. I love that about life.

Focus....