7 years

4 friends. Two weddings. Three babies. Beach trips. Charlotte Dancin'. Mama Mia. Bon fires. Chicken stews. Dinner dates. Art nights. Art studios. Movie marathons (exempt me on that one). Birthday shin digs. Milestone birthdays. St. Patty's day parties. Showers. A townhouse, a trailer, a project, a new home. Learning how to be good teachers, learning how to be good wives, learning how to heal, learning how to be good moms, learning how to have true friendships...together. Loving, forgiving, forgetting, encouraging, straight forward, forever friends. 

Cheers to the first annual Dutton, Mallory, Miller, Watts Christmas party. My heart is full of memories with these friends. 

Waiting

Waiting is a period of learning.
Pregnancy,
engagement,
long distance friendship,
Advent.
Waiting is learning.

The longer we wait, the more we learn.

This blog keeps me grounded, makes me cry,
reminds me to pray, inspires and gives me hope:
www.teachingtuckandty.blogspot.com

A place called home.

How we ended up here is complicated. If we make it through these projects alive, married, and with completion it will be a miracle. The pregnancy hormones mixed with the FB posts of every body's perfect homes with perfect trees are about to throw me over the edge. That said, major accomplishments have been made, that I need to give note to. These pictures are blurry, but you know what, so is my attitude. It is fitting.

COUNTER-TOPS!! CABINETS!! Whooo-hoooo! This is huge. I will soon have space for our minimalist "stuff." A "new-to-us" stove via good friends. The rest of the counter tops should be here this week!! The little pic to the right...this is so the washer lid doesn't hit me in the face :) And, it is attached to MORE SHELVES! I dream of being organized, my house being tidy. And, be careful what you wish for, I know. It has been kind of nice having a loooong list of excuses as to why I can't cook, or clean, or yada yada.


A vacuum that works! Thank you black Friday. A door on our pantry. And,
a super cool new mailbox. I'm ready for your Christmas cards to arrive!

So, amidst the chaos of our so called home...there has been a lot of headway. I am very appreciative of my husband for sacrificing sleep and working on his very hurt foot. I am trying to be patient, but I'm not doing a very good job at it. Please pray for my patience, that I will pitch in and help joyfully, that I will focus on the true meaning of Christmas, not compare my situation to others, and that I won't get wrapped up in unnecessary details.

Jesus was born in a manger. Just sayin'.

Excited

I'm so sorry sweet Pepper, your mom is a dork! But, your mommy is so excited. I didn't know if I would be excited if the news was boy. But, I am. So...I am celebrating. First, a blue painted pepper. First, on FB then all over the "school" news! Pepper had his first appearance on the MMS TV NEWS....announcing that you are a boy :) It was cute! Yesterday, my top priority was painting a shirt to wear today. I'm loving wearing it. What an exciting day. Oh, to be a mom of a boy. I hear I need more energy. It will be okay. And, I'm glad CZ can keep the stage to herself, in the pink and girly world!


P.S. The "real" name will 96% not be Pepper.
Today, it is Paxton "Pax" Barrett Miller :)
But, I like the name game too much to cut
off the votes quite yet. (Pax means peace,
I love that) And, I love this baby boy. he he
Ba

I need to remember these moments,

I am reminded! Every afternoon, Cz is in a "big time bossy, I went to school today mood." Today, she insisted that both daddy and I participate in an "activibity." Today it was stickers and paper. This is daddy's art, it reads, "daddy loves sports-cars, dawg." Pretty clever, I say!

This evening turned out to be great. I love random moments of fun! We hunted for something clever to use for "tile" in the kitchen. We found some cool marble-like stuff at Michaels. Daddy and Cz were pretty cute sitting on the floor in the store planning out the floor.

Getting Cz into and out of the car is becoming an ordeal. The conversation about how many babies can come and how many purses she can bring is both hallarious and getting old. "My baby will freak out if she doesn't come inside. She will cry, so so loud". "Mommy, if I can't take two purses I will be so so so so so so sad." She is a sales person.

Fun pics of shadows. Ok, I'll be honest Cz was not happy to take these pictures. But, I pretty much demanded them. The moment looking at the shadows was fun, it was when I wanted a picture that I ruined that moment.

Dinner. Big time Daddy/Charlotte laughs. They shared rootbeer. Ben made the mistake of calling her a "beer queen." Great...so, if you hear her say this...remind her she is a ROOTbeer queen. Then, it was a rootbeer float and ice cream cone...in CZ's face. I know, we are such a great influence. The memory was fun. And, that is important too. "Daddy, your lucky I didn't put my ice cream in your drink," she whispered in Ben's ear. Charlotte is getting really witty. This is good and bad.

This was the last night not knowing if Charlotte will have a brother or sister. I am really excited to know. Not that it really matters, we will be happy either way. I just want to know. My sweet Charlotte really needs a break from the conversation though. She is really nervous about mommy having another baby. "Will you wear a mask? Can I sit on your lap after Pepper is born? Will you still love me when Pepper is born? Can you still hold me? Will you always be my mommy?". After too many questions and a lot of reassurance, I held her sweet hand and it was sweaty.

Life is changing. It is exciting and scary. I am basking I'm the exciting for a moment. And, it feels good. Maybe I should postpond my doc appt. Just kidding. Doc appt's are exciting and hard on your nerves. What is important is that the baby is healthy and my family is healthy and safe.

Last thought. "God, thank you for my family. And, keep them safe like you normally do." From the heart of my Charlotte. Thankful you for my many blessings!

Tokens of joy

Tokens of joy. A growing belly. Art that CZ carries everywhere, that has become my favorite. Candles and a sombrero. Jewelry that signifies my sweet baby. A new "tea" cup. A new devotional. A free trip to Starbucks. Fresh flowers. FB messages. Happy Birthday sung by two year olds for the first time. Or, homemade birthday parties that your three year old is still insisting of having every afternoon in the studio. Tokens I treasure.

32, a reflection

-CZ is was a "frog princess" for Halloween.
-Liz was a "piece of work" & Ben was Dr. Phil. He pulled it off so well, it freaked me out. totally. --Fun party at Heather's house.
-Love weekly bible study, even when I feel too busy for it.
-Still seeking peace in this journey called life...the house...liveable yet floats between comfortable and project hell.
-Still in crazy debt. Semi-ignoring the issues, not seeing the light. But, trusting that we will figure it all out. We have jobs, and do not make irrational decisions, any more. Usually.
-Prego with Pepper....what a joy after those last bullet marks.
-Trying to not stress about a new baby or freak out to the comment, "oh I bet you are having fun planning the nursery." Not quite sure where the baby will sleep. Probably as the Miller's have coined, "Willy Wonka Style." We all just snuggle up and fall asleep. Oh my.
-SO SO thankful for my family. ALL of my family. They make my life so much more joy filled and they never add to my stress. That is so much to be thankful for.
I like my job.
-I am prego exhausted and drink coffee at 3pm.
-I have the best little girl ever. "Mom. MOMMM. MOM," Cz is yelling. "WHAT?!" "I love you," she responds. I love how she is so loving. And, I treasure the time I have with her.
-I am thankful for my friends. I'm excited about all of the new babies around. Even though, just like them, I am waiting for a new normal to surface.
-My husband is cute, not in a Dr. Phil costume though. I love how he teaches Sunday School, I love to see him talking with the kids. I LOVE that he painted a butterfly on CZ's face before school today. I enjoyed out lunch date. We are in a good place. We don't freak out about the scary parts of life. We together are thankful and optimistic. And, I forgive him for leaving for VEGAS for a freakin' week...on my birthday.

Birthdays are fun. They make you nostalgic. They make you analyze what in the heck you have done or accomplished the past year. Are you better off? Have you made headway? What does my life look like? You can choose to be sad....seriously, I'm 32, in debt, a project house, and lots of loose ends. Or you can choose to rejoice. REJOICE. Another year. Blessings galore. So many things but most importantly, relationships and "gifts" to be thankful for. And, I am very thankful for week #17...a little more energy. Thanks pepper! I love you all who read this. In some way, you make my life "rich," and that is what matters.

Now that's an art project!

Stickers and a Starbucks cup. Java for Mama. A happy hour for us both!

Texts

I love the text updates I often get throughout the day from my amazing caregiver, my mom. This was today:

"But my mouth doesn't want to stop whining."

"Do you know why I don't like macaroni? Because it has holes in it and it hurts my belly."

"The peanut butter sandwich doesn't want me to eat it...and I'm going to do whatever it says."

"I want pistachios because they always make my belly feel better."

"Ama, what are you writing?" "Oh, a grocery list."

This sums up Charlotte this week. Difficult. There aren't many weeks like this, but this week has been a rough one. She challenges everything you say. "Do you want nuggets, and peas?" Yes, she will respond. And, then give you every excuse under the sun as to why she should not eat it.

The funny thing is, she knows she's being annoying. In the car each afternoon this week, she has given herself a lecture. A lecture on: listening, not using your whiny voice, and using nice words. She gets it. Hopefully she will start listening to her own lectures.

The Need To Blog

I feel a need to blog if its been a while since a post. I miss an old fashioned diary, but in lots of ways this is more fun. I like being able to share...and I don't really care if anyone reads it or not...it is therapy. Free therapy. I miss my wine therapy though, I must say.

Why I blog:
1. Something happens I want to remember that is:
a. good
b. challenging
c. character building
2. I'm irritated, frustrated, or annoyed.
3. I'm encouraged.
4. I need to vent.

So, today...I need to remember the good. And, I need to vent. Both, to follow. I do always try to keep it honest. There is the good, the bad, the challenging, and the adorable...sometimes these all exist in the same moment. I appreciate blogs that are real.

Why do you blog?

Anna Jayne

I love you. Oh, the wait for you has been hard....like for years :). I can't wait to hold you and kiss you and watch you grow.  10.9.11, a perfect day for your birthday. Now, get out of the nursery so we can stare more closely!!

Untitled

This morning I choose (for the first time in months) to start the day reading the bible, instead of reading facebook (pathetic, I know).

This is some of Luke 1, totally paraphrased:

"Mary, you have nothing to fear. God has a suprise for you: You will become pregnant."

Mary was scared. "An angel answered, The Holy Spirit will come upon you, the power of the Hightest will hover over you." How could you not feel better?

Mary, a virgin, became pregnant. God spoke. God answered. Mary, was a willing recepient of Gods will. "Nothing you see, is impossible with God" (v.37). "And Mary said, Yes, I see it all now: I'm the Lord's maid, ready to serve. Let it be with me just as you say." (v. 38)

------

I was reading from the Message, which I think is a little out there, but I liked the change of tone.
And, it was exactly what I needed to hear. I am by no means Mary. But, I do believe that me getting pregnant was as much of a God thing as it was anything. I was petrified of getting pregnant again. Until, Ben said, "hey, wanna have another kid?" I freaked out. Then, with a lot of praying and some good Christian company, I really felt like God said, "don't be afraid. Another kid will be different, but it will be a gift from Me. It will be yours, for a while, and it will be a blessing to others." I saw siblings that were equal gifts, each a blessing, and my fears were calmed.

My house and the details of my "life" are so often a disaster. But, God is so much bigger than those details. And, I needed a reminder. Amazing that I found it with a half attempted search.

Family time!

Charlotte woke up happy. We almost got to church on time. The air felt like fall. CZ looked especially big today, in a super cute hand-be-down. She can wear a size 4 now...my baby is getting so big. We had a few debates over which purse to take, and how many. It was a perfect day.

In church Will mentioned fried chicken. I forgot the rest of the sermon and couldn't get my mind off of fried chicken, and cucumbers with vinegar (my new obsession). We went to Meta's downtown for lunch. Soul food at its best. It was delicious.

After our bellies were fatter and happier, I noticed some great picture op's. Ben coorporated and even took some pictures. And, we ended up having a great time. CZ is into making faces, and these end up coming out much more often than "normal" smiles. What can I say other than "that's my girl?"


I am so thankful for my family. I so enjoyed this afternoon that turned out picture perfect. I treasure the moments like this.

So cool.

I love this little baby.

Some moments I skip, some moments I freak out a little bit, others I tell my class over and over and over I want a biscuit. This morning, a student appeared with a biscuit, for Pepper! Fun! So, now it just has to grow and form :) And we will talk about Pepper, debate a name, and pray. Charlotte knows she is going to be a big sister. For me, there is a lot of relief knowing that she knows. More than anything (well except health), I pray that CZ and Pepper will be friends. I know they won't always be, but I really want them to have a good relationship.

The night we told her, she rubbed my belly and said "I want my baby, now!" CZ is all about her babies, and I have no doubt she will think she is the mommy. The other funny thing she said is that she wanted to name it "Emma Kate" (our good friends daughter) or "Anna or Parker" (the name of the Dralle Bean). I assured her we had to think of something new. CZ and Ben had adaughter/daddy date and came home with Big Sister/New Baby books. Sweetly, they read this as their nightime books. Ben is looking forward to extra CZ time come April. I just reminded him to not leave me abandoned :) Oh, and this could be an Easter baby.

A fun journey.

Excited

I love the feeling of being excited, no more than any other feeling. Being excited gets my adreneline pumping, I feel alive, I want to skip, I want to draw, I want to give thanks. I am excited. Here's a list (as my cuz loves to do) of what I'm excited about on this Friday.

1.Pepper
2. A growing learning fun joyful CZ
3. A husband who has been home lately
4. PUMPKIN spice latte'-decaf
5. QT with my bible study gals!
6. The spirit of fall
7. Art Shows coming up!
8. New art I've created
9. New Students
10. BLONDE highlights

Pepper

My little pepper.
Get's to go everywhere with me.
Love's to nap.
Is making me grin and giggle today.
Small and unseen, for now.
I'm growing a little pepper.

Remember these moments!

I am STILL in denial that summer time is over. I have been spoiled, once again. "Mommy, don't go back to school," CZ has said every morning I have been back to work. I have loved my time with her this summer.

The picture on the playground was the first picture of summer with CZ. Eating a cupcake was the last picture of my summer vacation. In between we took lots of pictures, Charlotte loves using the camera "all by mysels." And, actually does a pretty good job :) It was all so so fun.

I'm excited about the new school year, and always look forward to a new start. I'm anxious about what next summer will hold. What changes are to come. But, I shall rest that I will be prepared for the future each day it comes.

Charlotte is such a joy. Her personality is so spunky, happy, optimistic and just plain fun. I had a class in the studio the other night, and came into CZ, daddy, & mimi having a dance party to CZ's "music player." So cute. Bippity Boppity Boo, CZ thinks is "bobby balloon!" Love love love this girl.

Back to school plan.

Switching to decaf.

Wine once a month.

More vegetables.

Naps as often as possible.

Tattoo in May.

Praying more.

hmmmmmmm.

Summer...

I am not ready for you to end.

YL on my calendar

What a blast from the past to write "YL" on my calendar, which stands for Young Life. Probably the last time I really kept up calendar was back in high school, (yes, that is sad...I'm just not very organized).  So again, those familiar two letters are on my calendar.

Becoming connected with the Young Life world is so orchestrated by God, it is cool. This time it is not just "oh it is fun...". Long story short: 1) each year when my eighth graders go to high school...YL is advocated for by me.  2) at YL family camp there were two families that are starting YL in Davie County. Who knew it would later matter. 3) one of these families had previously contacted me about art classes. Neat how God allowed a way for our paths to reunite. 4) our church is not outreach minded when it comes to the Youth. I came to understand this mindset when I was at Laurel Ridge. YL was strong on my mind again.

So when I got back, I contacted the YL reginonal director. And the gal I ended up in contact with was the gal from my cabin at windy gap. Committee meeting was the following night, and she invited me to come. Ben was hesitant about coming.

"Ben, when God opens a door, when are you going to actually walk through?" Mark, a strong God fearing man, randomly asked Ben this. Talk about a sign from God.

"Liz, can someome watch Cz? I am going to go to the YL meeting with you."

So, we drove past our church into the neighboring county, Davie County for a YL committee meeting. YL is in the fundraising, raise awareness stage in this county. I feel so excited anywhere near the words Young Life. These two words introduced me to Jesus, changed my life, opened the door for so much fun. And I can't imagine any high school student not having the same opportunity.

As we left, we still felt a little puzzled as to why we live in one county (which we grew up in, and Cz will grow up in) and go to church in another. And now helping YL come to fruition in Davie county too.

"Obedience doesn't always mean convenience."

I'm off...

To spend a week with freshmen girls at Laurel Ridge. How will God work? Am I adequate? Will the food be good? Will I get cranky? What will happen with the relationships I hopefully form, when I get home? Is it really one church, two locations? How has camp changed since I went over 15 years ago? Where has the time gone? Who will love on my Cz when she hopefully goes to camp one day?
Ok, God I will rest in you...stop my questioning and rest in the confidence you want me there this week.
Here goes...

Sunset Beach

F.U.N.

Choppin. Choppin.
Dancin. Dancin.

How do you...

Wear your glasses and head bands?

A happy ending...

To a fun long weekend!