If I could find my sketchbook, I'd draw.

Not sure what I would draw...some swirls and see what happens probably.

I feel nervous. I just wrote out a "renewal lease" for our townhouse tennant whose lease is up at the end of January. If she doesn't renew, it's waiting tables time for me. That thought makes me want to vomit. But, I need to have HOPE IN THE LORD that He will provide what I need. That is not always what I want. Okay, I can breath a little better now. It's not in my hands. I'll keep you posted.

And, I hear my little gal calling "Mommy" from the bed. Life it going to work out.

Optimism...again!

And, a new "blog" look! Today, I'm thankful to be a teacher. Yes, I know that teachers always say that when they are not teaching. But, I am thankful to have a job. I am thankful that I get to do art all day. I'm thankful that I get to spend my day with kids that are never dull. I am thankful that my job gives me BRAKES & PAUSES. I need this.

I don't think I could do any job without time to recharge.

Merry Christmas!

It has been a Christmas surrounded by family and friends. Fun. Simplicity and Peace.

Seeing old friends. Almost ALL family. Yummy Food. Enough DOLLS for a daycare. Enough "Merry Christmas" from the mouth of a two year old to melt EVERY un-believing heart. It has been "amazing" "beautiful" "ohhhh pretty."

I feel full of peace. I feel full of family.

Look into your past...

to understand your future? That is what I am doing tonight.

And, let me remind you...that I'm happy if you read my blog (you handful of faithful followers), but let me remind you that this is part of my self therapy.

A random staff member told me on Friday, that he could "sense" my "loss of joy." Great, another person that can see through my the happy face that I try and keep. I was kind of irritated by his comment...but at the same time I told him that I appreciated his intuitiveness. He said that he would pray that the break would be a time of healing. A time of peace. A time for me to let go. A time for be to find my joy again...and that he prayed that I would never let the devil steal my joy again. I pray that his prayer is answered.

You know, life is never going to be easy again. And, I think that this has been the first year that being an adult has hit me. It hit me hard.

Since I have been teaching, my annual goal over Christmas break has always been to create a scrap book of that year. I just now remembered that this is what I usually aim to do. It happened quite a few years. But, my goal this year is to relax. Not have expectations. Calm down. Meditate on the meaning of Christmas. And pray for the new year. And of course really cherish time with Charlotte!

********
Financial Peace. I pray for financial peace.
POSITIVE note: Ben & I paid off $11,394 towards debt this year. We saved $13,420 or more by renting out our townhouse. We did not accumulate any more debt this year, paid off some medical bills, and did not charge anything this year. This is very positive!!!
This time of year makes me nervous. Buying Christmas presents makes me nervous, because it is money that we still don't have (even though I did not buy much at all!). But, it also makes me nervous because I look back at the year. Did I have any clue this time last year what was going on in my world? I think not. And, I'm anxious about the new year. We are about to have a new house...new expenses. Ben's business is not making much money. And, if our renter does not renew her lease...we are going to be in a mound of trouble. So, I know if it gets worse...our drastical measures are going to have to continue. Even more drastical. I don't want a second job...but is that what I will have to do?? Ugh, I don't even want to think about it. But, I pray that God will provide. Not just the money we need...but a strong enough faith and spirit to joyfully make it through whatever.
********

Okay...so, Christmas & the turn of a new year always makes me even more introspective than usual. So, for some reason my journal from 1998 was in Pam's house. Barely room to move, but hey, I have journals from 1998!

This is some of what I read...

1/1/1998: "I will not be successful in my life if it is lived for me. If I don't make someone's life a little bit better or happier than I will be a failure. If I am unhappy or un-content I will not be successful. If I am not at peace with my relationship with God and not striving to do his will, I will be unsuccessful. I pray I will be successful."

1/1/1998: "My dreams are huge! Of an awesome man, of my cute little house, my cute little kids, my cute little paintings...or my adventure around the world, volunteering, painting, seeing, living, learning, loving...more than anything I don't want $$ to rule my life. There is so much I really want to do and I don't want to fall into a trap. But, I don't want my dreams to be so big that I don't have time to live them...I want to start being really excited about things again.....I want to start being over joyed with whatever is given to me every second. I want to run with it and sing for joy. I don't want to worry, or wonder, just rejoice and run. I want to sing praises to God and to pray again and trust that he will let me keep my personality while gaining that of Jesus. I want to begin again to CELEBRATE the temporary. Both alone and in company. But, remembering that I am not alone...I will always have Jesus. Promise."

Pretty wise at 18, I say.

Goodnight...

There is more I wanted to say, but my husband came home before 10. YIPPEE.

Sunshine

Okay, so I have to blog about this really quick before I forget. Actually, I know that I will never forget...but, I'm told that I will.

I woke up this morning sick on my stomach (NO I am NOT pregnant). I didn't feel well at all...but I went to work.

Ben was taking Charlotte to Ama's this morning and he told CZ that mommy was sick, her tummy hurts. Charlotte said, "mommy sick." "pray." And, she folded her hands.

Talk about amazing. I am proud!

And, I feel fine.

PMA

On a prominent "criminal" in Winston-Salem, I got an up close and personal view of his bracelet. It read PMA which stands for "positive mental attitude." My BMA (bad mental attitude), smart alek self told this man that I would probably draw mean dots all over it. It was a Monday, and lately I am grumpy and pessimistic. I didn't stop to think that what I'm going through doesn't even compare to what he has gone through. He stopped to think about the date and said that today was when he was indited two years ago. There was a little bit of small talk and he said that a PMA has had to get him through a lot. He said that he doesn't want to forget where he has been, because it has been character building. It is a part of his story he said. But, he is more thankful now than he ever has been.

This week my PRAYER...my goal is that I will see the glass as half full, for a change. Having to convince myself to be optimistic is not normal for me. I really am usually optimistic, easy going, happy-go-lucky, despite whatever is going on. But, I've never had "challenges" like I'm having now. It is not easy to be optimistic. It is hard to see through the crap that is surrounding me for some reason. BUT, I'm going to try and see it from a PMA.

I want to focus on what I have. NOT on what I don't have.
--Charlotte says "lush you" now. She runs up behind me and says "back hug" and gives me a squeezing hug! She smiles and gives silly giggles ALL of the time. She is SO stinkin' cute. She hugged and loved on Roxey (Andrew's dog) for about an hour...giving her kisses and hugs. Charlotte waved at everyone as she left church today. When I asked her what we should do before we go to bed, she said "hands" (which means pray). We said our prayers. Then I said, "where is Jesus." She says, "everywhere...heart...mommy's heart." I melted. She is the absolute happiest kid ever. I have a wonderful daughter.
--I have a mom and dad that give and give and give and give to me. They never ask, "what the heck is going on you are a grumpy beeeeeeatch." But, they put my clothes in the dryer when I bring them over because my washer is broken. And, they fill up my wine glass. I am thankful to go to another place that still feels like home.
-- I have friends that STEP up when they know that I'm struggling. Neel selflessly helped Ben all weekend loooooooong. Mollie called to check on me. And, Neel helped without saying "dude this is never going to get done!"
-- I have a warm comfortable place to live.
-- I am lucky to have Heather as a co-worker. She makes work fun.
-- I have a husband that is working his a** off for Charlotte and I.

I WANT to find PEACE in God so I can live in peace with myself, with Ben, with our circumstances, with others. This was the "write this down" part of church today. I don't want to have faith in the house being done to give us peace. I KNOW that it won't. In fact, with the house being finished come a lot of other challenges. I don't want in "more time" will give me peace. Or more of whatever.... Do I not trust the bible? GOD will provide to those that seek him.

I guess that is where it is hard. I feel like I have been trying my best (yes, faith in works is dead) to have faith and trust and follow God. And, the house is not done, Ben is super super stressed, Molly's Motors is barely floating, so money issues could very easily get bad again, and I seem resentful, angry, and unpeaceful. SO, what do you do????

LET IT GO. LET IT GO. KEEP moving!! GIVE to others. FOCUS on what you have. FOCUS on who God is and what He has done for me. DO NOT have faith in this world.

SO, PMA. PMA. I pray.

No room in the Inn

Luke 2:1-20 (New International Version)
Luke 2
The Birth of Jesus 1In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2(This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3And everyone went to his own town to register.
4So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 6While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
The Shepherds and the Angels 8And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ[a] the Lord. 12This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
13Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 14"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
15When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."
16So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. 20The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Do you think Mary was stressed because she was unmarried, giving birth to our Savior and he was born in a manger because there was no room in the Inn? Maybe my worries aren't as bad as I think?!

Searching for optimism in the arms of Christ-mas.

I agree totally...

your gift is going to be simple and homemade. please don't feel like you have to get Ben & I anything.

http://laurenalexis1.blogspot.com/2009/11/christmas-without-presents-i-like-it.html

10 p.m.

Ben's second full time job right now is the Hampton House. Usually as I go to bed, he is just getting started on the house. I just got him to contribute to my blogging...he sent me this picture of what they are working on downstairs! It doesn't give their hard work justice though.

The house update: Downstairs is going to have 2 bedrooms. (One quite small, that Zach is going to live in; the other a good size for Zach. Zach is a good friend of Andrew's that has been living there for a while. We like him :)) A bathroom, washer/dryer, living room & kitchen. So basically it is like a duplex now, I suppose.

The downstairs is framed out. Rusty (THANK YOU!) is there now helping/doing the electrical work. They are calling the plumber this week. And, then it is insulation and sheet rock. Then Andrew & Zach move downstairs. And we can start nesting :)

Andrew says they will be downstairs next week. Who knows. Ben says Charlotte is going to get a new room for Christmas. Who knows.

All I know is that for my own peace of mind...and so I don't continue to drive those boys crazy: I'm putting up a Christmas tree here in my comfy little basement I call home. For now.

I did help some over the break. The backyard is almost clean! It doesn't look like dirty nasty people live here any more :) (There was a TON of junk in the backyard that came out of the back garage from the last owners.)

I've made friends with the men at the dump. They laugh at me as I've driven my stylin' truck, and attempted to back it up & unload it.

My new studio to be is almost cleaned up. I'm just waiting on some $$ so I can put up insulation & sheet rock. Ben hung a swing in the middle, so Charlotte is happy while I'm cleaning. Well, actually Charlotte is always happy...and loves to clean. What a gal!

I feel relaxed & thankful. Thankful for a roof under my head. Thankful for my friends. Thankful for my family. Thankful I know that my hope is not in this world.

Are you wondering why I am awake at 10pm? Coffee at 5 pm. Goodnight.

hmmmmmmmmmm.......

What is funny is that I'm so anxious and worried NOW. The $@(*! hit the fan this time last year. That's when we had real issues. That's when we were really prayerful and had our new priorities in order. I wasn't having near panic attacks and crying at the drop of a hat.

And, now the house is getting VERY close to finished! I can walk into my new studio, and I'm going to have a studio, our bills are getting paid, our family is super supportive and I'm freaking out. Sounds like the priorities are out of order.

The season of Christmas/Thanksgiving is about remembering what you HAVE, not dwelling on what you don't have.

So, pray that I can focus on the good, not be so hard on myself, not have expectations of a "time frame" for the house to be finished, be kind to my husband who is working his butt off, and that I will find time to make National Boards a priority without being discouraged.

PS Charlotte is my SUNSHINE. She is wonderful, happy, cheerful, joyful. She makes life so so much better. Remember that, Liz.

Blogging at school

YUP, I am. It is either that or flip out on some undeserving middle school student.

YIPPEE, a 5 day weekend. A "break." A "holiday." But, that makes me anxious, nervous, irratable.

I want to decorate for Christmas. I want to make crafty Christmas gifts. I want to listen to Christmas music and drink hot coco.

But, my "home" is a wreck. The literal "home, house."

It is hard to be patient. It is hard to prioritize. This is not easy.

But, at least I did not flip out on a kid because of my issues :)

Thanks for listening....mom, Sarah. Love ya!

Ode to the Prius...

Bye bye prius (that is spelled wrong, isn't it?). Maybe it wasn't meant to be. I loved my little hybrid, the quietness of the car, the windows that have let me see the world through my vagabond adventures, the simplicity of it, oh and the gas mileage. Loved that car. Goodbye.

Hello my black jetta. Oh, stick shift, diesel, lowered with hot black rims, Auto Extra's graphics and tinted windows to hide...(see picture to the left.)

FYI, this is one days of "mom bags." lap-top bag to do NBC stuff, diaper bag, cups to return to Ama, Charlotte's car/toy bag, purse, and clothes for me to change into (long day).

<--- Ben's car.

Is the Glass Half Full...

or half empty?

Life is a rollercoaster. FULL. empty. FULL. empty.

GREAT great day. Whimsical, inspiring, uplifting. Fun. FULL.

Husband came this morning for a second. FULL.

Hoping to have family time this evening. Pam & Bill out of town tonight. Shop closes at 3. 6:30 husband still not home. empty.

You know back in the day, I wrote in a diary. Now, when need be, I blog. And, sometimes you only get the FULL, and sometimes you get too much of the empty. Not trying to be a downer.

Back to the blog world.

Drummmmm Roll Please!

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 28th....ready OR NOT (and very likely not!) we are movin' into the Hampton House.

Just to clarify, this does not mean that ANYTHING is finished....at all. But, we are 'a movin' in. So, Ben says.

Will this motivate all individuals involved?? Or, drive us all crazy??

I must say, I"m excited. Charlotte will get her own room, Ben & I get a real room again. And, the rest will just be a smooshed cluster of a house.

It will get there. That's all I've got.

I didn't take a shower & forgot to brush my teeth...

DISGUSTING! I know! Who would admit to that?? I just did. You would think that would mean that I wore PJ's and watched movies all day long....but, who has time for that? Read between the lines.

I woke up yesterday to POO, and it just occur ed all day long. The sewage was backed up again at Pam's. This caused a gross smell, no shower, too grossed out to brush my teeth (I took my toothbrush with me, but found gum instead. Wow, liz!), and financial stress with the in-laws. No fun. Despite the Poo, the rain, the cold....I wanted so badly to be productive yesterday. God had other plans.

Well, I don't think it was his plans for the truck to get stuck in the back yard....I should have listened to my husbands last words, "don't drive the truck into the backyard." Even though I wasn't the driver. Oh well....small annoyances!

Not much got done at the house....other than a little bit of "eye-opening" to what I can now do.

The day got better though!

**QT with my mom! :) We, not really, SHE baked cookies! I got to sit at the bar and do a little bit of school work.
**Pumpkin Spiced Latte' with Tonia!! Love it!
**Seein' Dee & Cute Riley in the belly!
**Watching the CMA awards & hanging out with Ben.
**OH, and the library with Charlotte.

OKAY, the day was better than I thought!

SKIP all of this...

& Read SUPRISED @ THIRTY!! FUN!!

Three posts...

or none. I always get on this kick.

Cute story. Today, Ben called and asked for Charlotte's SSN. I asked why, and he said that Charlotte went to put money in her piggy bank and it was too full to put in any more $. She loves to "save her money" and fill up her bank.

So, daddy & Charlotte went to Truliant to open CZ a savings account. She carried her piggy bank into the bank. How stinkin' cute.

She is a blabber mouth. I love it. She sang Happy Birthday the other day, FINALLY went to Sunday School without crying (and I picked her up and they said she talked the whole time...and no pacifier!), she points to everything and says "mommy's.....(shoes, purse, medicine)" or daddy's or ama's. Cute. She loves to talk on the phone, and you can kind of understand it. FUN!

And about the Hampton House....

Ben has been in Las Vegas for the past week. He came back motivated. And to a more relaxed wife. Thank God. Seriously.

Last night we went to the Hampton House to figure out some more walls. I'm going there tomorrow, hopefully the rain won't get in the way, to clean out some trash from the new STUDIO!!! Yippee.

It shouldn't be tooo long before we start moving something in somewhere. Ben & I talked, and agreed...that we either need to still be "somewhat settled" at Pam's or the Hampton House by Christmas. I don't want Christmas morning to be in a strange messy place for Charlotte. So, that's the thought. We shall see. Oh, and about Christmas....if you read this....I hope that homemade is good with you. This is going to be a simple SIMPLE simple Christmas. Please don't get me anything....seriously. Spoil any kids you know...or a stranger.

SUPRISED at 30!!!

WOW. WOW! W-O-W!!! I am in NO WAY exaggerating when I say that I had THE BEST birthday ever. Seriously. I did not think that it was possible to suprise me. Never in my life have I been suprised. Really. I always know what my presents are, I usually ask for them myself, or find them. Or, someone is too excited and tells me what it is. Or, gives it to me early. I could give you countless examples.

THIRTY WAS DIFFERENT. And, I LOVED it. Once I got there. Getting to thirty was a different story.

You know you have good friends, when they go through considerable effort to throw a party when your attitude is TERRIBLE. Wow, I was cranky. I was in no way interested in going out on Halloween, much less at 9p.m., and I definately did not want to dress up. This is not "normal" Elizabeth behavior. But, the second half of 29 hasn't been very normal. It has been tough. Really tough. My attitude has fluctuated between super thankful to a huge pity party. I did not want to spend my 30th birthday at an event with a bunch of strangers. I did not want to go to a party. I didn't say it out loud, but I really wished that I could have a party of my own. My friends knew what I would want. And they pulled it off.....PERFECTLY.

It's funny how everything worked. I had a reflective week before my birthday. I remember having conversations, more this year than ever, about the awesome Halloween Parties I always had growing up. I always LOVED Halloween growing up. My mom decorated the house, and never skimped on how I invisioned that years party. It was great. I told more than one person the week before my birthday about these parties, and I told someone about dressing up as Dolly Parton when I was little....only to find this exact picture on one of the tables at my suprise party. What a suprise.

I had hoped that by 30 I would be living in my "own" house again. I didn't think there was anything that could really "de-funk" my mood. I was wrong. FRIENDS truely lifted my spirits...once again. But, man they had to work hard to pull it off.

Tonia asked weeks ago if I would to to this "Sports & Rec" event at the Millenium Center. I ignored almost every e-mail she sent about it. Ben asked me about it, and I said "NO." I was kind of proud of myself for being so hard headed about my "no." It was "MY" birthday, and that wasn't what I wanted to do. Not, that I don't LOVE Tonia...I just didn't want to go to a party with a bunch of strangers. I was really a pain about it......I was not interested what so ever. I had a conversation with, I think Ericka, about it. I told her, I really should go. Tonia hasn't wanted to do anything since Carter has been born and if she wants to do something I should go and have fun with her. Come to find out, it was something for ME, not even for HER. How selfless. Inspiring!!

OKAY, fine....I'll go to this party. But, not with a smile. Ben said we were going to go as the Simpsons, because I told him that if we were going to dress up than he would have to figure out the costumes and find them. I wanted nothing to do with it. What a beeeiiiitch. And, by the way, I hate(d) the Simpsons. But, I cared so little, I didn't complain. He had figured it out, and that was fine with me.

My birthday weekend. Still CLUELESS. And, ill. Ben was leaving on my birthday for Las Vegas for a week. I had no expectations of anything other than a card...because I was also pretty clear that I wanted NOTHING but a card. Period. Friday afternoon I had off, and my mom didn't have any other kids. Like the good-ole-days, we got to go out to lunch and piddle around. I loved it. It has been FOREVER since we have done that. It was nice. My mom was a little over excited about making me a red necklace for my Marge costume. This is not completely out of character....but, it was 100% her excitement and idea. Of course, not mine. They all had a plan.

Thursday, I was downtown for the "Shoe Shrine" exhibit. Matt said he would buy me a drink...I said OK, since it is my birthday. I played off not knowing my birthday was Sunday. Debbie said, "oh, you didn't tell me it is your birthday." She was in on it all...and came in an awesome costume. There were lots of little moments like that that just slid by me. I was clueless.

Lying is not always bad. Without lying you could not plan a suprise party. Lies that were told:

Lie: Sarah had a big project due on Monday and was coming to my parents for dinner after she got off work on Sunday. Truth: She got off on Sunday to make my birthday perfect.

Lie: Tonia had a remote on Saturday. Truth: Everyone was decorating.

Lie: "You can't come show me your Halloween costume, we have 'traditions' on Halloween, said Heather. Truth: She was at DADA getting ready. And, Sarah Baker didn't return my text....she was busy painting my brother black while driving down the road.

I spent all of Saturday getting my costume, and Charlotte's costume together. It really ended being much more about Marge & Homer than it did the cute little duchie. Oh well, next year she'll actually be able to eat all of her candy. Pam worked for about an hour on my blue tall hair. When Ben got home, we hurried to get painted yellow. We trick-or-treated at one house and then headed to my mom's house to trick-or-treat. Ben, Pam, Bill, Charlotte & I headed over there. I was still grumpy, but I began to like my costume better. I wanted to go home and go to sleep!

But, we had an hour and a half at least before Tonia & Derek would be ready. So, we went on a DATE to Village Tavern....looking like this! Wow. It was fun. They put "Simpsons" on our tab.

After dinner we went to Derek & Tonia's to pick them up. Again, grumpy words from Elizabeth, "Can't we just meet them down there? We can drive two cars."

At about 9:15 we left for downtown. Tonia said that we had to pick up tickets somewhere near the Millenium Center. I was brainstorming the possible places, but knew there wasn't much around. We pull up on Liberty Street, near the Art Cue, and walk towards DADA. I AM STILL clueless. I know that there wouldn't be tickets in the Dada center. But, I had NO clue about all of this!!

It was raining and obviously dark. We walk up to the dark DADA center...still clueless as to why we were walking into a pitch black room...we walk in.

"SUPRISE!!"And a TOTAL suprise it was. WHAT AN AMAZING PARTY. SO fun! We danced and laughed. Then we went and danced some more at the Millenium Center. Ben & I won 3rd place in a costume party. It could not have been a more perfect and uplifting night!! I love you all!

"How are you?"

Charlotte answered, "good." A real conversation with a 20 month old :)

Slumber Party...

at OUR crib! What fun! Scott & Ericka came into town last night for my 30th Birthday :) They took us out to dinner and we had a slumber party at 3638 Tanglebrook Trail. I must say, having guests at our house was a big enough present. Seriously! I really have missed having company over the past 9 months. It was nice to clean up and have people over. AND, OF COURSE to see our good friends! I kept asking Charlotte, who is coming to visit? And we would say "Ericka, Scott." And, she would look at me with very confused eyes, "and Crash??" That is their cat. She didn't understand why the cat wasn't coming. She loves animals so so so much.

Anyways, Ericka & Scott...thanks for a great great birthday present!

Oh, and we stayed up until, I think ALMOST midnight....laughing at YouTube videos, trying to "stay young." Laughing is so good for you. And, wine is too.

OPTIMISM....

Lies in an afternoon with Charlotte!! SHE is a breath of fresh air. SO SO much fun. FULL of kisses. The cutest strut/run. We got to the pumpkin patch and she quickly said "punkin," which I didn't even know she knew. She wanted to kiss and hug the pumpkins and sit on them. FUN.

I thought we would take Monique to the park. I didn't know that Charlotte would hold on quite as tight to her as she did. They went on the swings, down the slides and though the sand. Charlotte is becoming more and more girlie! Uh oh! She got her hands in the sand, and says "ohh, mess!" and wipes off the dirt. Cute!

Her favorite things: "swing, swing," "POP(corn)," her babies, talking on the phone, dogs, animals, her grandparents, her "duchie" book .

Charlotte bring so much LAUGHTER and LOVE to this LIFE. Oh, you can tell her to laugh, and she will put her head back and giggle. She stomps, claps, and dances. In the car we sing to anything....our thumbs, gully (which the little rebel calls a PACI), cup, shoes.

FUN. FUN. FUN. Can I call in sick to school again tomorrow?? I wish!

What am I complaining about anyways???

You name it. School. National Boards. Getting ready to pay a mortgage on a house that isn't ready to live in yet. Ugh. Ben's shop & Safety!!!!! No more Art Cue :( Missing my friends....everyone is sooo busy. Overwhelmed with the to-do list I can't find. Anxious.

BUT, realizing THERE IS NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.

Cheap Therapy...

I have really been wondering if I should see a therapist, get drugs, or drink more. Not kidding. I've been anxious and worried and not able to RE-mother-!#$*lax. That is a Cameron term. I know that I have the "right" college degree...."Communication Studies" because some of my classes ring in my head frequently. I really think if I can communicate my "issues" clearly.....through ART, the poor friend that ends up hearing too much, talking to Ben, or writing than I can deal with what life puts in my path. Lately that has been hard.

Yesterday's therapy came in the form of conversation with the parents, some "free" food, and two glasses of cheap wine (sorry dad, not trying to call you out. I don't have a problem with cheap wine!). I got to hear the "been there, done that" story from my parents. The, "I was pregnant with you when your dad got fired 2 times, and we moved 5 times. Lived on a mattress at Granny's house, Grampa wasn't even living at home. Lived in a hotel. Lived with friends. Didn't have a pot to piss in," story.

It helped.

Inquire the story of others! Get out of your box. I'm trying to "take off my grumpy shoes."

Friends...

I miss. I've been grumpy and down in the dumps in complaining land. It's hard to be a good friend when you are grumpy. Sorry guys...

This shall pass.

I am waiting patiently....

This is a song that Cousin Kayla sings. Charlotte and I were singing it yesterday as we were waiting to go to the fair. She kept repeating "patient" over and over.

I need to repeat that over and over.

So, we are waiting. Waiting for the deed to the house...then to frame in the carport. Then to get the inspector. Then to do plumbing, then to get the inspector. Then to do electrical work. Then to get the inspector.

All of this work is to be done on Sundays! When Ben & Andrew are free. Pray that it doesn't rain on any Sundays! yikes....

For now, we are waiting to move in until some of the work is done.

Ben wants to have our annual "Thankful for our friends" party at our new house......we shall see.

Patience!!!

A visual.....

Here it is, our soon to be new home...the "Hampton House!" There is fresh paint & the outside is almost good to go for now...soon the carport on the left hand side will be the living room. Eventually the deck on the front will be gone, the front door will be on the side & the front will be stone. Regardless....this will soon be home!

Charlotte

is ready

to MOVE!

This picture is funny...it is her first time drawing on her face! Luckily it wasn't sharpie this time! And, she is "saving her money." Ben & I leave change on the steps & she takes it and puts it in her piggy bank...on her own! Cute.

This was Charlotte before her first "surgery." It was very minor, and no big deal....to unblock her tear duct. She got a "Matilda" mark on her forehead! She was a trooper!

18

mo!

wow!

details

It appraised for what it needed to! The loan was approved! We close on the "Hampton House" THIS Friday. Friday Andrew is getting a building permit. We are financing more than what we are buying the house for so, a large chunk of it will pay off some (not all) of our bad decisions, and the rest will go towards adding on a living room & finishing in the downstairs (adding a bathroom & finishing the bedroom/living room/kitchen-ette). To answer questions, NO this does not get rid of all, or really that much of our debt. But, we are going to pay off enough so that paying the mortgage payment is only about a hundred dollars more than what we were paying to the credit cards. So, maybe that answers your questions. What else.....?

Therapy!

That last post was therapy! I feel like a load was lifted. Nothing like some blogging therapy.

Why...

do you have to get in a totally terrible mood sometimes before you can snap out of it.

I've been debating:

1) Drugs (for focusing, PMS--maybe, attitude be gone drugs)
2) Drinking
3) Prayer
4) a road trip

I have had a bad case of a bad mood the past 4ish days. Just blah. Blah. It is like the no sunshine syndrome. I hate when I get like this...I can't figure out if it is every 28 days that this occurs, or if it is when too much "piles on my plate" (like the rest of the world), or what the deal is. I don't think it happens too terribly often, but when I get in a bad mood....I hate it, just as much as everyone else that has to deal with me.

This is what it is like:
* You want something, but you don't know what it is. And if you got it, you don't know if you would still want it.
* You want to talk about it, but you REALLY don't have anything to complain about.
* You feel like you are "neither here nor there." Like you are floating in your own world. Not able to communicate well, not able to focus, not able to prioritize. Just in a funk.
* Someone asks, how are you, and you say "fine" and you know that is a lie...but you can't put a finger on the problem.

IF, I didn't think I was on the verge of GETTING THE $#!@ over myself....I wouldn't be able to blog about it....but, I think I'm about over it.

And, here's how.

1) Church. I listened. "Don't shortchange your kids."
--I feel like I am always multi-tasking. Don't think I'll ever outgrow this, I wish I could. But, tonight, I payed attention to CZ. And, it was fun. I was frustrated about my grumpiness...so I just told my little 1 1/2 year old about it! Poor kid!! No, I didn't tell her I was choosing between drugs, drinking, or prayer. I told her.......if you are happy, or sad, or frustrated, you should pray. So, we walked & sang & prayed. For ALL OF YOU......amma, grampa, mimi, papa, tonia, baby carter, sarah, ALL of you guys. CZ said the AMEN.
"These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." (Deuteronomy 6: 6-7)
** So, I think the moral of the story, is you don't have to find JUST THE RIGHT TIME to spend time with GOD...SPEND it WHERE you are. WHY IS THAT SO HARD?

2) 1 beer and a glass of wine. That helped.......is helping.

3) Called my friends, some of them. I miss my friends. With kids...it is hard to hang out. We gotta get over it.

4) Opened my bible and just read. I found this as I was reading Philippians (the girls from church are reading this book). "Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel." Phil. 1: 12
** This was very comforting to me. WHY, you ask? I am very nervous, excited and anxious ALL in one, about the Hampton House. I KNOW beyond a SHADOW of a doubt that this is where we are supposed to move/go next. I AM. But, there are still alot of what if's? When's? What's? QUESTIONS, in general. And, I don't have the answers to many of them. It isn't an ideal situation, no. And, obviously. Ideal would be we had never had any credit cards, we had never made any bad financial decisions. Ideal would be in our townhouse, debt free. Ideal, is on hold. I'm praying that "ideal" by those measures will come at about age 35. (by then, I'm hoping that we will be close to out of credit card debt). SHRED YOUR CREDIT CARDS. I don't care how many points you get, what you get free. get rid of them. I'm done....but, I just needed to remind you. They are bad news!
** How am I SURE that this is where we are supposed to be? We have prayed. We have run the numbers again and again. We are helping Andrew. It will help us, financially. The timing is right.
--Why am I nervous? We are going to be living with someone new, Andrew. He is young. He is a lot like Ben when he was younger, in some ways. He is in a different stage in life than we are. I don't want to be his mom. I don't want to boss anyone around. Remember when you had other roommates? It is hard. And, I don't think that there is much about this house that I'm naively going into. So, I am being over nervous. GOD IS IN CONTROL....why am I forgetting this?
Oh yeah, I'm nervous about $ a little bit. We have "budgeted" the cost of the house...but it all of the other "stuff" that I'm nervous about. AFLUENZA...the want for more! I want plants! a bird feeder! a bedspread X2, flowers for the kitchen table....the list goes on and on! And, there is a ton of bs that we haven't bought much of...I'm nervous about that too. Wow, get a life Liz.
--Why am I anxious? because: when am I moving? I don't know. What is the living room going to look like? I don't know. What is any of it going to look like? I don't know. What colors??? blah blah. The real concern should be: I want this to be a God serving HOME. That was my initial prayer. (NOW, all I can think about is colors! Painting!) And, what does a God serving home look like, anyways? That makes me anxious. I feel VERY inadequate for alot of what is going on in my life right now.
-------Don't you hate it when you feel like you aren't doing anything right? I think this is a female trait. Maybe it only runs in my family. But, when you get started on this tangent...it is hard to stop. I have felt lately: I'm not a good enough teacher to get my National Boards. I'm not good enough for my principle. I'm being a terrible mom because she spends so much time with so many other people. I can't keep the house clean. I am not being a good wife...what shop? I don't get to spend time with my friends. I do the studio half a**, I am not doing my own art.....blah blah blah. anyways....I want to do better.....
--Why am I excited? I'm VERY excited about CZ having her own room. I'm excited about OUR own room. I am very excited about decorating. I'm excited about having people over to MY house, OUR HOUSE.....again. It's a bungalow (small!)....but, what I have missed most over the past 9 months, is hosting.

That was therapeutic. I miss the good ol' journal days. Moral of the story, if you didn't read it, you didn't miss much!!! Love ya'll.

Waiting....

The Hampton House was appraised on Monday. We are still waiting to see if it appraised for what it needs to. IF it did, then we close on the house next Friday. WOW. So, we are waiting.

I'm excited & anxious.

Why do rainy days yield to reflective days?

Home is where the heart is.....

and where you can easily find your stuff.

We just got back from a relaxing & just plain feel good trip to Atlanta. Ben & I are EXTREMELY blessed to be among SUCH a great support system here. It is outstanding. But, it was nice to see the rest of the puzzle...our good friends Scott & Ericka. They have been such good friends for so long, it was nice to do nothing in a different environment. It was refreshing. (even with a cough & cold...I hope we didn't leave our germs!)

But, it is always nice to come home. And, this basement is home. It feels good to be back. There is always a smell I don't quite like & windows that don't exist. But, what is it about you own junk being where you put it that just feels cozy?

5a.m. on Labor Day we were in the car on our way back home. We thought that the Hampton House (or maybe we will call it the Lego House...which Scott came up with...we plan on adding on and adding on!) was going to be inspected tomorrow at 9 a.m. S

Procrastinating...or working extremely well under a deadline runs through Ben's blood. Seriously. Andrew started painting the exterior of the Hampton House Thursday or Friday. Two coats later...at 3 p.m. today, it's still not finished. THANKFULLY, the inspection was postponed a few days. But, the list of what needs to be done so it will appraise for what we need it to just doesn't end. So, please pray that these boys will be able to focus and prioritize what is important to finish, now.


The Hampton House is looking so much better. The outside is now light green, cream, and dark brown. It is much cleaner & crisper. But, so much to still do....this is going to be a long process.

So, back to the quote of the day: "Home is where the heart is...and where you can easily find your stuff." mix that with the song......."you're gonna miss this"

That was my thought as I was just putting clothes away in the closet, here at my basement home. I'm going to miss this. I KNOW that the Hampton House is where we are supposed to go next....but I'm nervous....I'm anxious....how are we going to organize our crap so it fits into the closet space? What do I need to throw away now? Will it feel like home?

blah blah blah.

Store up treasures in heaven. Do not worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow has enough worries of its own. Do not be anxious about your life.

LOOK UP. All of this stuff isn't what matters.

AMEN....

I just want to say that God answers prayers....I am convinced. But, it might be 10 years later.

I am thankful for my husband. He TRULY has become the man that I DREAMED and PRAYED about marrying.....10 years ago. He was the boy that I could not give up on as a freshman in college...that I just HAD to stick with....I now know why. God answered my prayers.

I wanted to marry a young life leader. I wanted to be a youth group leader. Back then, I think I wanted it all for the wrong reasons. Now, I know the right reasons to want that kind of person....and I have that kind of husband.

You want to marry that kind of person because they love God. Because they want to know God, serve God selflessly, love him more. Ben is becoming this person more and more.

Every Wednesday am Ben is getting up for bible study. Every Sunday we go to church, without a fight or question. AND he is leading the youth group. WITH excitement, and passion, and knowledge, and prayer. WOW WOW WOW. We go to youth cookouts, and plan get togethers, and try to get to know the students! And, I am NOT dragging him. at all.

This is without a doubt the work of God. I am thankful and grateful. And thankful and grateful for Rick and Neil and Matt who have played an integral part in the work of God in Ben!

AMEN

too comfortable?

We have officially been living the vagabond life for over 6 months. A "house" is in the forcast...and it scares me. Am I too comfortable here at 3638 Tanglebrook Trail? Not sure...

You know, bad things can happen when you get too comfortable. You get lazy. You forget what is important, you take things for granted. I REALLY hope that is not happening...but I must admit, I'm nervous about our next adventure. Excited, yes. Prayerful, yes. Do I think it is the best decision, yes. But, it is going to be different.

So, the update...we are waiting on paperwork & a dirtbike to sell, so we can close on the Hampton House. If it all goes though....I"m thinking we will go ahead & move in...and then we will finialze all of the reonvations that need to be done. (kitchen, downstairs, living room). Andrew has been living there, obviously. I hope he realizes that his bachelor pad is about to get crashed with baby toys, "noggin", 8pm bedtimes, cz dance parties, and prayer groups. Please pray. I'm a little anxious.

I'm super excited about my own bedroom....but even more, Charlotte's own bedroom! I think she will enjoy it. Even though, I'm hoping she won't hate us after we move out....away from Papa! She LOVES loves LOVES it here.

I'm excited about windows, obviously.

I'm neverous about the "I want's." I want...a hammock....flowers for the front porch.....paint for the back shed, so I can turn it into a play house.....a dishwasher.....to decorate.....blah blah.

Jesus, please be with the Hampton house. Andrew. Ben. Liz, Charlotte. Molly. Bitzy. A home for Bandet?! Our tight space. Our friends. Our time together. Meal-time. Fun-time. Please make the details fall into place, or not. Make it a house that honors you :) AMEN.

The latest dream...

Oh my, how dreams change and form.



I dream of simple. I dream of no stress. I dream of clarity.



My dream is fung-shuy. But, I'm an artist, so I know that won't quite work.



I dream of home-cooked meals. A calendar that we look at. A clean house. Laundry that is put away. Nada clutter. You can dream, right?



I dream of windows. Laundry in its place. My own room (yes, Ben's too!). Charlotte's cute pink and green room with painted funky flowers and a "big girl" bed.



I dream of having my plants back in my custody (Swizzle, SPIKE--oh, I miss spike!, Dr. Seuss, Cloey, Rex, doodle). My plants are in foster care right now.



I dream of having my own house again...this is what that MIGHT look like....

the HAMPTON house.

Will it be our house? Pray, please. Thanks.

Speaking of dreams...
Throughout the past 6 months, we haven't put much thought into what our "next house" will be like. It was more like...hopefully we will have an "our house" again. We did know that we would rather it NOT be the townhouse.

We were on a foreclosure kick for a few weeks. We found some great fixer-uppers...and one that was WAY to big, but a great deal that we loved. But, the moral of the story is...it has to make one simple equation work. We HAVE to be able to afford it. I know, that sounds like a stupid DUH comment...

Did our "dream" look like Ben's brothers house? It does now.

PRAY that the details of our idea will fall into place. In a nutshell, we CANNOT afford much more than anything we are paying right now. We are not paying a mortgage, we are not paying utilities, or for childcare. We have a *&!$-load of debt, in case you forgot. With rediculous interest rates and high payments. Credit cards are of the devil, in my opionion if you forgot that too. CUT THEM UP, now. Be done with them.

So, for the amount we pay in bad decisions, we could roll that into a house & pay the same of less...and afford a house. This is not what Dave Ramsey would say to do, but we think that it might be our best choice.

A few reasons why: We can't live here for free for much longer. Andrew's house with a few renovations/additions would be just fine (good location/blah blah). It would help Andrew. He would be a part of a family...hopefully this will help him to have a little more structure in his life. And, with Andrew living there/paying part of the mortgage it obviously makes it more affordable.

Gotta find a mortgage person. We had a potential investor that would make some $$ on this venture, but that didn't work out. Hopefully we can get approved & move forward. Easier said than done, I'm sure. Pray.

If it goes as we "dream" we will add a living room & finish the basement. Andrew will have a bedroom/bathroom/kitchen-ette downstairs. The laundry room will be downstairs. Upstairs: two bedrooms, one full bath, kitchen, dining room, and we would add a living room. It is small but cozy and would be great.

Pray. I'll keep you posted.

God answers prayers.

Even "stupid" ones. Here goes: I NEED new flip flops. My big toe has met the pavement. I love my rainbows. They are comfortable. I value "nice" shoes after seeing how your legs and back hurt with cheap shoes. But, I cannot afford to spend $50 on new flip flops.

I have some green rainbows that had been lost for months. I prayed for flip flops. Yup, I did. I asked Ben to as well, but he must have not been convicted of the "need."

We were eating dinner the other night in the formal dinning room at Pam's (home). Charlotte was crawling under the table....and FOUND my flip flops :)

Answered prayer.

Thankful

If I haven't said it lately...I am SO VERY VERY VERY thankful that I have my mom to take care of Charlotte every day. On this venture to financial freedom, it would be MUCH more difficult if I was paying for childcare. I know it makes you guys wanna barf when I say that...but I KNOW that I am lucky and blessed. Thanks mom, and dad.

Even, in a basement, I am spoiled beyond belief. Actually, I think I am probably even more spoiled in a basement.

Charlotte walks to the steps, and points "up up up", "papa," to go up and see Mimi & Papa.

I am thankful.

And, I am thankful for all of my friends. I miss you guys though. I feel like we are all so spread out and busy. Gotta fix that.

Am I forgetting do be drastical?

Or is this becoming a habit that we will be able to continue? I'm scared of loosing track of drastical. I'm scared of making another mistake.

I spend $56 at K-mart (K-MART) yesterday, and felt like I did something wrong. Wow. I miss the good-ol-days. I contemplated $5 jeans, $6 sunglasses, $5 beach towels for ever. Wow. I guess we haven't lost track of drastical.

"Do not be anxious about your life." Live it.

Addicted.

To reading everyone else's blog, except for my own. It's time to start blogging again.

The blog I'm addicted to is: Two Hobbits and A iant. (http://www.marquissclan.blogspot.com/) Read it, if you need to feel inspired, or need a reason to pray. An inspiring family!

Drastically relaxed Drastically Tired

It's summertime, relax! For the first summer in years, I'm not taking summer classes. Yippee! I have my masters, and no classes that are lurking over my shoulder. I was going to start busting it towards my National Board Certification....but there seems to be a lot of drama surrounding that....will you get the pay or not if you complete the process....and do you have to pay the $2500 fee, or is it waived by the state as it has been in the past. So, regardless I have a reason to procrastinate on that. So, no school this summer.

It's hard for me to relax. But, I'm trying. This helped:

Last week there was a workshop for art teachers. I got to spend a day being pampered and inspired by a local artist, Jan Dietter. She opened her home to 8 art teachers, and treated us like kings and queens. She fixed us breakfast and lunch, made us coffee and opened up her home and studio to us gratiously. We toured her house, she told us stories, and we sniffed through her herb garden. It was like stepping into a beautiful home on a Charleston alleyway. Everywhere you turned there was amazing art and materials that we were able to use freely.

We were to create a piece of art that told a story. Well, of course these drasticallities are the story for me. Her studio had a ton of materials...but of course, I needed a window to work off of. She went into her garage and took one off of the wall, and let me use it.

I wish I had a picture of her studio, it was a transformed barn: two stories, more materials than you could imagine, yet perfectly organized. Inspiring. Papers, rocks, stones, beads galore.

Anyways, I"m getting bored of my story. So, let's get to the point. I had a blast creating my story. First, I got a stuffed doll (that I turned into Jesus). I glued a bunch of hymns to it and scraps from sermon notes and notes that I have written. I tied a huge nail to his hands and crossed his feet with a push pin through the feet. As I was creating this "Jesus" it was symbolic of him taking my worries, my frustrations, my anxiety about what is next with all of this "drastical crap." I glued on a dollar bill too...that felt good.

On the window I painted verses and quotes. So, now there is another window for our abode. That brings sunshine to me. The verses were so applicable. Art is healing. And for me, if I write my prayers, draw, or paint them I just feel like they are complete. do not worry about tomorrow. period. As I was creating that window, I just opened up my bible and ever so quickly the right verses appeared. It was neat. Anyways.........

I was having summer anxiety. I know that sounds stupid...but if you are not living in your own home, days without any plans seem stressful. But, so far each day of summer has been relaxing and full with a sprig of productivity.

Moral of the story: art is healing.

FYI....

For you out-of-towners, I ran across this picture from Feb. This is what our crib looks like. It's not so bad. There is a big bedroom through the doorway, and a full bath & wet bar. Not so bad. There are windows in the bedroom. Just thought I'd give you a visual.

Say a prayer that we would know which direction to go in next. Pam & Bill enjoy us living there, and we are welcome there for quite some time....but we need to get a plan. And, not sure what that is going to be. So, please pray for a clear plan and more patience :)

Happy WEEKEND! AND, HAPPY happy HAPPY summer!!

Drastically cute

AND Drastically Sassy.

Those few faithful friends that look on this blog....sorry for the grumpy in the dumps last post. Here are some cute pictures to cheer you.... To remind us all to keep our perspective. What is truly important? Why do we waste our breaths complaining about things that aren't really that bad? There is my optimism for tonight....

Drastical Sucks...

the moment you are not admist the spirt of God. The moment you are not prayerful. The moment your feet are "of this world." The moment you rely on your own good intentions. The moment you start saying "what if," "I wish," "I should have..."

Drastical is not easy. Drastical is hard. Drastical takes too long. Drastical is not so fantastical right now.

You know that saying...."if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I kind of feel like that is where I am right now.

Bare with me for a few minutes...I'm going to vent...I'm going to complain...I'm going to exaggerate and make this all seem much worse than it is. And, you are going to wish that I just hadn't said anything at all...

1) We are BROKE. Not poor....but broke. We have been broke for YEARS...but reality is setting in. IT SUCKS. REALLY BAD. Don't feel sorry for me...but we are. We ate at Kimono for $15 dollars last night, and that seemed like a splurge. Seriously. We don't buy anything. So, I'm really starting to feel like a moooooch.

2) I live in a basement with no windows. I sleep on the couch most nights, so when the alarm goes off it doesn't wake up CZ. This little place is a mess...my excuse is that I can't put laundry away after CZ goes to bed. This is a lame complaint. But, I haven't been able to "host" friends since December.

3) I feel disconnected to life because I don't have a place to host. THIS is an exaggeration. I have had friends over here. I have EXCELLENT, WONDERFUL, not-in-my-face-at-all gives me space in-laws (they do exist). But, it's not the same. So, I feel like some of my friendships have grown apart a bit. I miss Wednesday night bible study/eat/hang out nights. YES, we do this other places, other times....but I miss being the leader of this.

4) 2 steps FORWARD, 2 steps BACK: You get everything caught up. NO cars sell. Stuff gets behind. You catch up. 12% interest becomes 29%. CREDIT CARDS ARE OF THE DEVIL. Who cares about your credit score, your points, whatever....there is nothing good about these evil evil people. They LIE, lie, LIE. I'm SO glad that most of you guys that read this are more responsible and organized than I ever will be...so you would never pay something 3 days late. But, it sucks.

5) I have house envy. Envy in general. Jealousy. Resentment. Not characteristics that are typical of me. This will be fleeting, I'm praying through it...but it sucks to have these feelings. Not fun.

6) Oh, back to the 2 steps forward, 2 steps back: I HAVE MY MASTERS. YIPPEE. Pay raise!
Teachers are getting a pay decrease. 2 steps forward, 2 steps back.

Have you ever been asked the question: Are you okay? You respond "yes." And, you feel like you just commited the biggest lie of all times. "If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything good at all." Is that what you really are supposed to do? I'm thinking there is a fine line there.

I'M DONE COMPLAINING....THIS IS THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE. Let's see if I can find the other side of 1-6:
1) broke: I've never in my life grasped the concept of giving. I'm selfish. I think about myself. By being broke, I'm realizing how much I wish that I could take my mom out to lunch (freaking lunch, come on...this is not expensive)....how much I wish that I was the one buying Charlotte anything. We obvioulsy have not been good "stewards" of our money....and unfortunately this is effecting everyone around us. I see this. In the shower we have written "Live like no one else, so you can LIVE like no one else." Ben marked out LIVE to GIVE. I also see that giving doesn't always come in the form of money...but how much art does someone really need? And, isn't everyone sick of me lingering around? (okay, exaggerating again)

2) My in-laws are AMAZING. Seriously, it is possible. Basically I have live in child care. They get mad if they don't get to watch Charlotte often enough. When we get close to home, I ask Charlotte if she wants to see Mimi & Papa and she LIGHTS up. Papa Bill was in the yard when we got home yesterday, and Charlotte ran to him. RAN. Charlotte will crawl to the top of the stairs and say nock nock on the door. There are benefits to living here. Oh, the other BIG one is....and the only area that I admittedly take advantage of living here...Bill & Pam take great care of Molly and Bitzy. They feel like they are at camp.

3) THE Q. Heather, Kristen & I got a gallery space downtown. This is my one "splurge" so I need to get downtown and enjoy it. We have a huge space (with a window). I've always dreamed of having a store/gallery....now I think I have stage fright. I don't know what to do with it....but, this is a space to host, share, play, dream....just gotta do it.

4) God is good, all of the time. I wrote the bitch-session yesterday. Today, I can see more clearly. Perserverance. Patience. Consistancy. Order. I'm working on all of the above....I hope these efforts STICK with me. They have to! We keep learning in church about how God is a God of ORDER. There is order in nature, order in the house, order in the church. I've got to improve in this area. I want Charlotte to grow up in an orderly house. No, I'm not talking no dirt...I'm talking well run. And, by the way the LIEING credit card company FINALLY was rational today...and it is not the end of the world. (like it really was going to be yesterday). Ugh.

5) See #4. Patience. See #2, there are benefits to living here. PRAY pray PRAY that we will make a good decision as to what we do next....where we go. PRAY that we will manage our money better...businessess better....house better....Pray we will allow God to be in control when life is good and bad.

6) 15 days until SUMMER. A break. Pray that I will use my time wisely. Enjoy Charlotte totally.

What a ramble......there is so much other left out drasticalities.

The BIG drasticality lately....our new campus at church has opened. Calvary West. It is awesome. It is home. It is challenging. It is exciting. It is real.

And, I'm real tired.

OH, I'm working on my "Summer of Cye" series. Stay tuned on www.creativeandcolorful.com. Soon to come... I'm drawing & painting loveable cyclopses this summer. Fun.

What's DRASTICAL in March

Drastical is in the details.

From my experience these "drastical" days, it is much easier to live drastically when you are in the midst of turmoil, major change, up-heavel (is that a word?). When you are scared. When you don't know what tomorrow will bring. When you have to act NOW. It is easy to act drastical when you can totally hear God speaking to you, "move."

So, how do you live drastically when you have established a new normal. I really think it is important to continue living drastically. But, it is not as easy when you know what tomorrow will bring. When you aren't as worried. Does that mean when you have become complacent?

Anyways, that all sounds pretty fluffy. But, my point is....I'm not doing a good job at drastical lately.

Drastical to me is....Mastering the ordinary.
Drasitcal is managing the details.
Drastical is PRAYING during the ORDINARY. Praying when things are going "okay."
Drastical is stepping outside of yourself...finding the energy/time to help others.
Drastical is not losing my to-do list.
Drastical is DEPENDING ON GOD everyday. Not just when things get crappy. EVERYDAY.
Drastical is doing what pleases God, not me, not everyone else. That can be hard.

How are you doing with drastical lately?

STOP multi-tasking

I have a MAJOR problem with multi-tasking. DRASTICAL would be giving Charlotte, YOU, my husband, my students, GOD my UNDIVIDED attention. It doesn't have to be loooooooong periods of time ALL of the time, but DRASTICAL for me, would mean STOPPING multi-tasking. AND, enjoy these fleeting moments, one at a time.

precious fleeting moments....

Let's Do Drastical Together

What would LIVING DRASTICALLY look like in your life?

If you would like to share your drastical adventures....post them under this posting & I will create a new heading to share with everyone. Or, you can e-mail me at drasticalvagabonds@gmail.com.

What are you selling?
What great deals have you found? Money saving tips?
What sales are coming up?
What is GOD teaching you?
What new habits are you forming, that are DRASTICAL for you?

We aren't the only ones "doing drastical." Let's do "drastical" together!

Good Quote

"Think beyond your lifetime if you want to accomplish something truly worthwhile." Walt Disney

NOT poor, ONLY broke

"I've never been poor, only broke. Being poor is a frame of mind. Being broke is only a temporary position." Mike Todd

SALE...sale....

President's Day, now here is a reason to celebrate:
50% off ALL (already inexpensive) CLOTHES
at (MY FAVORITE STORE) MEGA THRIFT.

Check it out.

It is like a HUGE Goodwill! I find great stuff there!

Want something new...

Go to a yard sale!
MEGA thrift...my new favorite place!
Craigs List!
Trade with a friend!
Borrow someone else's outgrown/outplayed toys...(and let someone else borrow your "old" treasures)

Or, go check the attic! (I must say, I'm a fan of TOSSING out things...but this McDonald's stand was in Mimi's attic, from when daddy was a kid)

Charlotte loves it :)

Coupons at Bojangles....

...DRASTICAL!

I can't say that I've acutually used these yet...but, you must admit, coupons at FAST food....that is DRASTICAL.

TRY it :)

Thought...

"The Blessings of the Lord have no sorrows added to them." Is this a verse or just a quote? I'm not sure...but I like it!

Note to self....

"If you keep doing what you are doing...you are going to keep getting what you are getting." Dave Ramsey

What are you doing drastical today? I'm trying to pay attention to these bills. ICK. No fun. Ben pulled the "below the line" trick the other day. He told a credit card they were "below the line" (meaning there wasn't room in the budget for them). They kind of laughed and said, "what can we do to get above the line?" Ben said, we are paying the lowest interest rates first. "Okay sir, if we lower your interest rate, can we get above the line?" Ta-da. 29% interest, now 12%.

Bargain with these people, it works. And, if you are actually nice to these people, they are shocked and don't know how to respond!

I'm doing something drastical as I type....sending in a rebate for $10. What a way to spend 30 minutes...drastical.

P.S. I love that some of you think "drastical" is a "real" word. If that is you...feel free to recommend words to my "definition" book I'm writing. I love made up words!

Shine Your Sink

Drastical is washing dishes by hand. Okay, not all of them, there is a dishwasher. But, to not leave a mess in the sink...you just might have to wash a few by hand.

Drastical.

I'm going to learn how to better take care of what I have.

Drastical.

"Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble and keep on praying. When God's people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality." Romans 12: 11-13 Good stuff!

This was for real drastical: go into the grocery store with $60 CASH. And, don't overspend. Calculate the amount in your head, and if it goes over....ask the cashier if she can put it back. (Just please don't ask WalMart to put shrimp back....gross....it will never make it back to the cold section).

Drastical is paying attention to details

We should do drastical more often.

Today it was a pizza picnic in the front yard after a cleaning & moving party. Good friends and good husbands and good dads came to the rescue today. If you haven't made time to be a good friend lately, I recommend it. What comes around, goes around.

I do not take my blessings lightly. And the biggest blessings are below:

Charlotte & I went with Tonia to see how Molly's Motors is coming along. They are building a showroom. We didn't get to talk with Daddy very much because there were customers in and out the whole time. We didn't mind!

I think I need to take Jane's advise & dive into Job. I'll let you know what I find. You know life is different when Sunday morning is a time you look forward to. To me, church has become very stress relieving. Who doesn't feel better when someone else is helping take care of your problems?

Life as a "Drastical Vagabond"

January 20, 2009

Life as a Drastical Vagabond.

Today was the first day that I had vagabond-like feelings. Where is my home? Pam reminds me that it is here, at Tanglebrook Trail. I had a quick freak-out session this morning, but luckily got over it quickly…with the help of Dee.

Friends make life so much easier. She called at just the right time and helped get me moving. We went over to the “rental property” and packed up all of the groceries, art, and lamps. Why is it “stuff” makes you feel at home? After hanging some more art, plugging in my radio, and turning on 5 lamps in one room, it feels like home. And, at about 3:00 Mimi knocked on the door to see if Charlotte could play for a little while. So far, so good. We are supposed to store up treasures in heaven.

But, I still think it is funny that your own things, pictures, pottery, books make this earthly home homey. It is feeling homey.