A place called home.

How we ended up here is complicated. If we make it through these projects alive, married, and with completion it will be a miracle. The pregnancy hormones mixed with the FB posts of every body's perfect homes with perfect trees are about to throw me over the edge. That said, major accomplishments have been made, that I need to give note to. These pictures are blurry, but you know what, so is my attitude. It is fitting.

COUNTER-TOPS!! CABINETS!! Whooo-hoooo! This is huge. I will soon have space for our minimalist "stuff." A "new-to-us" stove via good friends. The rest of the counter tops should be here this week!! The little pic to the right...this is so the washer lid doesn't hit me in the face :) And, it is attached to MORE SHELVES! I dream of being organized, my house being tidy. And, be careful what you wish for, I know. It has been kind of nice having a loooong list of excuses as to why I can't cook, or clean, or yada yada.


A vacuum that works! Thank you black Friday. A door on our pantry. And,
a super cool new mailbox. I'm ready for your Christmas cards to arrive!

So, amidst the chaos of our so called home...there has been a lot of headway. I am very appreciative of my husband for sacrificing sleep and working on his very hurt foot. I am trying to be patient, but I'm not doing a very good job at it. Please pray for my patience, that I will pitch in and help joyfully, that I will focus on the true meaning of Christmas, not compare my situation to others, and that I won't get wrapped up in unnecessary details.

Jesus was born in a manger. Just sayin'.

Excited

I'm so sorry sweet Pepper, your mom is a dork! But, your mommy is so excited. I didn't know if I would be excited if the news was boy. But, I am. So...I am celebrating. First, a blue painted pepper. First, on FB then all over the "school" news! Pepper had his first appearance on the MMS TV NEWS....announcing that you are a boy :) It was cute! Yesterday, my top priority was painting a shirt to wear today. I'm loving wearing it. What an exciting day. Oh, to be a mom of a boy. I hear I need more energy. It will be okay. And, I'm glad CZ can keep the stage to herself, in the pink and girly world!


P.S. The "real" name will 96% not be Pepper.
Today, it is Paxton "Pax" Barrett Miller :)
But, I like the name game too much to cut
off the votes quite yet. (Pax means peace,
I love that) And, I love this baby boy. he he
Ba

I need to remember these moments,

I am reminded! Every afternoon, Cz is in a "big time bossy, I went to school today mood." Today, she insisted that both daddy and I participate in an "activibity." Today it was stickers and paper. This is daddy's art, it reads, "daddy loves sports-cars, dawg." Pretty clever, I say!

This evening turned out to be great. I love random moments of fun! We hunted for something clever to use for "tile" in the kitchen. We found some cool marble-like stuff at Michaels. Daddy and Cz were pretty cute sitting on the floor in the store planning out the floor.

Getting Cz into and out of the car is becoming an ordeal. The conversation about how many babies can come and how many purses she can bring is both hallarious and getting old. "My baby will freak out if she doesn't come inside. She will cry, so so loud". "Mommy, if I can't take two purses I will be so so so so so so sad." She is a sales person.

Fun pics of shadows. Ok, I'll be honest Cz was not happy to take these pictures. But, I pretty much demanded them. The moment looking at the shadows was fun, it was when I wanted a picture that I ruined that moment.

Dinner. Big time Daddy/Charlotte laughs. They shared rootbeer. Ben made the mistake of calling her a "beer queen." Great...so, if you hear her say this...remind her she is a ROOTbeer queen. Then, it was a rootbeer float and ice cream cone...in CZ's face. I know, we are such a great influence. The memory was fun. And, that is important too. "Daddy, your lucky I didn't put my ice cream in your drink," she whispered in Ben's ear. Charlotte is getting really witty. This is good and bad.

This was the last night not knowing if Charlotte will have a brother or sister. I am really excited to know. Not that it really matters, we will be happy either way. I just want to know. My sweet Charlotte really needs a break from the conversation though. She is really nervous about mommy having another baby. "Will you wear a mask? Can I sit on your lap after Pepper is born? Will you still love me when Pepper is born? Can you still hold me? Will you always be my mommy?". After too many questions and a lot of reassurance, I held her sweet hand and it was sweaty.

Life is changing. It is exciting and scary. I am basking I'm the exciting for a moment. And, it feels good. Maybe I should postpond my doc appt. Just kidding. Doc appt's are exciting and hard on your nerves. What is important is that the baby is healthy and my family is healthy and safe.

Last thought. "God, thank you for my family. And, keep them safe like you normally do." From the heart of my Charlotte. Thankful you for my many blessings!

Tokens of joy

Tokens of joy. A growing belly. Art that CZ carries everywhere, that has become my favorite. Candles and a sombrero. Jewelry that signifies my sweet baby. A new "tea" cup. A new devotional. A free trip to Starbucks. Fresh flowers. FB messages. Happy Birthday sung by two year olds for the first time. Or, homemade birthday parties that your three year old is still insisting of having every afternoon in the studio. Tokens I treasure.

32, a reflection

-CZ is was a "frog princess" for Halloween.
-Liz was a "piece of work" & Ben was Dr. Phil. He pulled it off so well, it freaked me out. totally. --Fun party at Heather's house.
-Love weekly bible study, even when I feel too busy for it.
-Still seeking peace in this journey called life...the house...liveable yet floats between comfortable and project hell.
-Still in crazy debt. Semi-ignoring the issues, not seeing the light. But, trusting that we will figure it all out. We have jobs, and do not make irrational decisions, any more. Usually.
-Prego with Pepper....what a joy after those last bullet marks.
-Trying to not stress about a new baby or freak out to the comment, "oh I bet you are having fun planning the nursery." Not quite sure where the baby will sleep. Probably as the Miller's have coined, "Willy Wonka Style." We all just snuggle up and fall asleep. Oh my.
-SO SO thankful for my family. ALL of my family. They make my life so much more joy filled and they never add to my stress. That is so much to be thankful for.
I like my job.
-I am prego exhausted and drink coffee at 3pm.
-I have the best little girl ever. "Mom. MOMMM. MOM," Cz is yelling. "WHAT?!" "I love you," she responds. I love how she is so loving. And, I treasure the time I have with her.
-I am thankful for my friends. I'm excited about all of the new babies around. Even though, just like them, I am waiting for a new normal to surface.
-My husband is cute, not in a Dr. Phil costume though. I love how he teaches Sunday School, I love to see him talking with the kids. I LOVE that he painted a butterfly on CZ's face before school today. I enjoyed out lunch date. We are in a good place. We don't freak out about the scary parts of life. We together are thankful and optimistic. And, I forgive him for leaving for VEGAS for a freakin' week...on my birthday.

Birthdays are fun. They make you nostalgic. They make you analyze what in the heck you have done or accomplished the past year. Are you better off? Have you made headway? What does my life look like? You can choose to be sad....seriously, I'm 32, in debt, a project house, and lots of loose ends. Or you can choose to rejoice. REJOICE. Another year. Blessings galore. So many things but most importantly, relationships and "gifts" to be thankful for. And, I am very thankful for week #17...a little more energy. Thanks pepper! I love you all who read this. In some way, you make my life "rich," and that is what matters.

Now that's an art project!

Stickers and a Starbucks cup. Java for Mama. A happy hour for us both!