What is "Normal?" and 10 minutes of complaining...

My mind is full of negativity...so, I'm going to spend 10 minutes getting it the heck out of my body. God, take these negative thoughts and SQUASH them like a mean bug. Please.

Okay, I REALLY miss the old "normal." I loooooooong for coming home to MY clean house, MY colorful walls, or MY mess, knowing what I'm coming home to. I loooooooong to hear "I'll grill out burgers tonight" and it be at my house. (I got a little excited today when Ben said that Greg was bringing over stuff to Grill at D&T's house.....close). I really am having a hard time being patient in this uncomfortable house. This has been resolved....but, I"m complaining for 10 mintues, okay 8 more....and need to get it out of my head. I came "home" yesterday and the house smelled like a $#@^$# bar. I have NEVER been that mad, I really don't think I have. Brother in law paid some people to come and help downstairs and they smoked outside of the door and the house smelled horrible. He appologized, I don't feel like barfing about it anymore...my heart rate has calmed down. But, it just seems like everyday....it is "what now??!" Sunday, I "out-sourced" my laundry...and I was so excited about sleeping in my own bed with CLEAN sheets. (I have real issues with bad smells...and my house smells really bad) Came home...and the bedroom was trashed. Ben started to put in the washer & dryer upstairs...and in the process had to take everything out of the closet. Oh my...back to Charlotte's bed.

WILL I HAVE ANY PATIENCE left in my spirit, any creativity, anything left in me when my house is together again?????????? And, will that ever ever happen??

Okay....so, take all of that with a grain of salt. I AM THANKFUL, GRATEFUL, and KNOW that God has me RIGHT here for a reason. And, for that matter....he has a lot of people in similiar situations. But, PRAY that I keep GRAN spirit. I just don't want life as it is now to be my "new normal." It CAN"T stay this way forever. I hope. My other question in my mind is....what do I try and "control" or "manage" and what do I let go....?

Okay...now 2 hours of productivity. 20 minutes of facebook. 1 hour of productivity. 20 minutes making THANK YOU cards for Charlotte's Birthday that was a month ago..............................peace....................peace....................peace OUT.